I have had this weird feeling of “OK so now I’m feeling small and stupid” after reading science books on what the heck is going on when chaos appears in my life. From concerns over a mother, to divorces, to politics to betrayals of good friends, to figuring out why breaking up with a guy you were so sure, was your match, feel so horrible.
So we like to look good and knowledgeable socially (depending on the crowd) but are we putting down a HUMAN EXPERIENCE in light of some hormones science wants to point out? All these injections of sugar as the pink coloured glasses; the dopamine, the serotonin goodness I don’t even remember what exactly they’re there for but having read enough articles about them (probably to look good on a website because its scientifically a valid word)
… they are, apparently, the “source” of our human problems. So my point is… do you feel subjected and little after reading what war these hormones are doing to you, or do you go “meh keep telling me what I should be feeling because what I felt was true and real and I’m learning as I go”
maybe crop out the last part but this is me… rebelling against science dictating to me how insignificant a circumstance is in terms of hormones and oh yeah, voila! The problem should now be gone! Right?
No, the problem is partially gone when you seek a good chat with someone you trust with the information. Because then you have help. You have appreciation and validation and if it’s a really good friend, a plan to burn the idiot’s house down. (I don’t recommend this, I’m just saying the sentiment in my experience, is what alleviates everything in a friendship)
It is not gone when you analyse the tiny cells that are creating a storm in you. People want to be understood not figured out.
People, as I told my ambitious IT flatmate, are not logical.
And as for the question of why I broke up with a guy who I was convinced (through steamy sessions, dancing and lots of drinking) was my match; I had the philosophy of “if it’s meant to be yours, it will come back to you” and men should have responsibility and claim the chick they want rather than putting the choice into her hands. This struggle was the essence of all my struggles. And in fact the beginning of more learnings… to that I say cheers!
Edit; At a distance, in a strange way, I think I’m OK with leaving things with my latino date as they were. Hot, passionate, understanding, easy and left for the summer. Not every relation will continue being in your life and thats fantastic.
Its about growth, memories, learnings and experiences. The rock you took from a new Zealand resort may not hold the same sentiment fours years in time (long or short, thats the beauty of life). I am so thankful I had friends around me to give me tips and especially a huge thank you to a family friend who has Buddhist like experience with people. Including what guys think: his sassy yet knowing answers to my stories of assholes are beyond gems.
I wish every girl had that instead of the sit with your girlfriends and have coffee bitching about asses –
Sometimes you need to grow up and benefit from a different point of view. There’s a beauty to mystery sometimes, once you look past the misery that comes your way. And I now hold the record of getting over a guy in 5 schnapps shots and 3 days. Not that I recommend that… but it was my strategy of getting over something I was so sure about. People on cocaine also think they see angels… it depends on perspective, always.