I think its a furious and hilarious state of the world that we all live for love yet when it shows up, we are a scared pack of geese running around trying to figure out what’s going on.
Take me as an example. Someone who is very likeable (which I think just confuses the whole agenda), a real research freak; been through enough traumatic break ups (including family) and then there’s the issue of a relative being too scared of a bad marriage to let you have any serious relationships of your own.
This confuses everything.
Even if you have a suspicion that some guy out there likes you because a blog pointed out some signs; even if you make great stories for everyone to hear; even if they joke about you being their girlfriend to everyone; if you hold hands, and if you hang out a lot. Even if they look at you like they have never seen a girl before, and repeat that look after periods of time when you’re not hanging out.
Even if they share their heaven-like experience with food with you in a chat. Even if they tell you that you have the best sense of humour out of everyone they know; even if they tell you over the phone, that they like you. If they praise your cooking in front of a good friend, or tell you that they miss you. Plus being happy that your world and his world gets along because they are “really” good people.
(adding to this that they’re part of a latin community so any expression of love can be blown out of proportion)
There’s nothing quite like self doubt and labelling to make you question the most obvious evidence that someone cares about you. Which goes to show, it’s in your head – not in the palm of someone’s hand. Mmm hand holding…
I recently spoke to a girlfriend mentioning how slow I was to realize what was going on with one of my amours (not entirely my fault as it takes 2 to tango) and she told me I was being selective, not slow. I half agree. The guy in question also did not fit my type so everything that happened, was under cover. Even from me.
The last point I will mention is that, I flipping hate going out with guys in Switzerland. You literally have no clue if what they do is a custom or an expression of their feelings. And then there’s the love-like-lust triangle which is particularly curious among the Latinos with their affectionate names and gestures; and of course who can forget technology. 7 years later I can say without a doubt that if a guy is texting constantly, he isn’t man enough to speak to a girl for real.
Funniest part is, the westerners point out things from body language, to gestures, to questions, to asking people in your circle about you.
How about the east? Things that come so naturally like planning parties, having big families, spending time together and being generous – basically puts the water on all the ‘west” signs that x person likes you. Because its a natural cultural trait, not a “I like you” sign. And you can’t depend on friends feedback because thanks to a lack of life on their part, they could be blowing something out of proportion for their entertainment or be pushing you into something for the same reason. What I do is gather points from those who know better and bring it into the formula of 2+2. What you know plus what they know. I have never been wrong with that lab result!