I will confess. I think I have broken the spell. And after checking out handsome hunks on pinterest, and reading a professor’s experiences dealing with the public’s understanding of gender stereotype characteristics (ryan gosling’s meme comes here like ”hey girl”)
… It is no longer deniable.
I’ve been desensitized to brown eyed men and masculine looking women. Maybe I’m just living in a warped world where as an Australian, going out with Spanish and Mexican men seems “exotic” – (what the heck does that even mean now? I’ve crossed the final frontier). I have pecked a brown eyed, brown haired guy with 1 centimeter of manly beard – something I never thought I would do; and done guesswork on a swiss german woman’s back, AND front, to try realize if I’m actually looking at a male.
**how did I know it was a female in the end? Larger hips, and that one time on TV – the mannerisms were not masculine; emotional and playful for example. That ad I saw of what I swear was a guy with nail polish that was apparently a light red haired girl? I’m still gonna go with “it’s a guy”. Not a feminine feature in sight, sorry.
Conclusion? 2D images do not help with guesswork.
I have also been in a small kitchen with a tall dark half naked Italian male who was cooking and didn’t bat an eyelash until I walked out thinking “wasn’t that stereotypical romance stuff just then? Why am I not feeling anything?” then BAM in walks a big grey eyed American a few days later and I am screwed (mentally).
As someone who went gaga for guys with light eyes, light hair and height— and some of those are freaking gorgeous – nowadays I’m not jumping onto them any more. It could be my experiences with those appearances turning into douchbags/cold men, conditioning me against them – but also I blame having met a tall and dark guy who charmed me and semi convinced me that looks are just looks.
Maybe I got enlightened. And charmed right up. Maybe the characteristics in a guy that attract me, criss-crossed into the dark, handsome, super charming and fun guy that I never took “seriously”. Because I don’t ever go for super charming, dark guys. And so I broke the spell when I pecked him and he pecked me a few times at the clubs.
Sound strange? Well… even I don’t get it. The thought of going out with a darker eyed, darker haired guy which I did do, but not in an official partnership kind of way – never struck me before.
Hence due to the fact that in my mind I can only make out with lighter eyed and lighter haired guys, it felt super strange to go beyond pecking this guy. But I did peck. And found a gentle lover in there. Which did pleasantly surprise me as I had no idea what to expect. To do it in the first place meant I was pulled in by drinks and chemistry and ‘I really like you but I will not admit it because you’re too charming to be real with me’ kind of body language.
Again, I am sounding strange. And maybe making a big deal out of it. And I wouldn’t mind further stuff but this dark charming thing that landed in my space – is a new world to discover in itself.
Photo credit; carla delevigne, john hardy shoot