So I just made the biggest realization.
Self sufficiency is a major ball busting, corporate lying, robot inspiring, evil encouraging, life crushing myth . I’ve observed, I’ve read around, I’ve asked (and it is a spin off from my are you afraid of weddings post) and I”ve come to the conclusion that we have all been steered away from a fundamental and biblical truth: you have better chances of survival (even in a modern world) by being a couple .
Why? Because s–t always comes up. Health comes down. Family has worries once you go out into the big world by yourself *if you’ve been blessed by a good one*.
Even myself as a student sharing a flat, lamented on and had an agreement with a friend who was constantly switching jobs and flats in the UK, “its easier to have a partner to share lots of burdens”. Or something like that. Dont get me wrong, friends will always be around to help in some way. But when we drift on our own we crave the warmth and caring our family gave us. Which is part of the reason mum asked me while I worked on my swiss degree “why is it such a big deal to have a boyfriend? Is it status or something?”
Simply put, it gave you a reason to care and canoodle someone and ultimately plan for the future.
Then there are other examples; I asked how it is farmers live without partners since they have a lot of jobs and no time for food. I found out my stepdads brothers had their mum cooking until they married someone. They got their fathers traditional upbringing while our guy can manage in the kitchen (as the youngest son that got raised by his mum and only bro that can).
Self-sufficiency. What a myth. Just the night before my 26th birthday party at the pub I tripped and fell on my arm; this meant that to lift it was super painful and slowed me down times by 4.
It made me hyper aware of how alone I was. And this is what I mean; survival. Life comes at you and you think you’re invincible until something gets taken from you. Finances.. health.. a loved one.. a house.. some natural disaster.
Or simply having a crush on someone. Not saying thats a minus but feelings and sex can cloud your judgment (a spin off on my post about sexually undisciplined males) — and that’s about if you’re compatible enough to enjoy what life brings and get through what life puts you through.
So like I told a friend, my decision that a commitment will bring me some satisfaction is also a pragmatic decision. I’ve seen stuff. I know survival rates are higher when you can love and be loved, support and be supported, be on the same page and be appreciated, and know you can count on at least 1 other human being in your life.
Absolutely there are people that are mostly single. That’s fine. That’s great!
But how do we want to live and give, that’s the real question. Not if we can stand on our own.