SO. MANY. Forums, questions and comments sorely dedicated to relationships, dating and FWB within the realms of kissing. I get it. Kissing is amazing. In fact most people don’t get enough affection daily. I judge this on myself, family and friends. And mostly on terrible matches. But the fact stands, we have completely confused the meanings of kisses.
Like, all of them.
What does a forehead kiss mean?
What is an Eskimo kiss?
Should there be a kiss on the first date?
How to kiss best?
How to make him/her fall for you through a kiss…
Lord the list goes on. But it didn’t stop me from reading a reddit forum on how guys feel on cuddling and which kiss means what. There are freaks out there, traditional people, go with the flow types, some very awkward ones, and lastly… people who truly do not give a damn. And then there’s the part where people just take whatever they can get. And the status seekers that go “hot damn” … me included.
Long story short, I find myself thinking the most not about those I made out with; but those I did the bare minimum with. Like a kiss on the cheek goodbye.
Fact stands that the lips are extremely sensitive (and extremely sensual) and actually DO carry a lot of meaning when they touch… other lips.
In my humble opinion, people should respect whatever the hell you want to do with your lips. I have had flings, a boyfriend, a date, a stepdad, friends – all aim to kiss on the mouth and the cheeks. All in different contexts.
But for me, personally if I kiss you on the head or the cheek that’s THE kiss to look out for. The cheek is an affectionate area and an I love you/I care for you sign, same as the head but more tender and respectful.
Why is it that we live in a culture where if you don’t make out with some guy for 5 minutes, that means you’re not 100% or not even a person worthy of attention?
Irony here falls into the gap where when friends know I kissed some player they want to know if he is truly that good. Some are excellent, some are appalling. There’s just no in between for some reason. But the good news is you’ll always be surprised (like I was a couple of times) but that’s up to you to make meaning of that information.
Back to my point. The simple tender affectionate kisses are what I do, and they are packed full of meaning because as an artist, businesswoman, tutor, slash author I try compact my message into something readable that can impact the other person positively. I legit feel that I can’t leave people in negative spirits. And so if I kiss a Spanish dude’s cheek and he asks for one on the lips but I will not give it freely, he better respect that. If I kiss my stepdad’s cheek before getting on the train, heading back to my past university – I hope he knows that I mean my gratitude and express my affection this way. If I kiss my mum’s cheek in farewell I hope she also knows that I’m appreciative of her presence, help and trying to give it all back in a little form that is socially and personally acceptable.
But at the same time there’s this weird social hunger for some kind of soft pornography where you eat each other’s faces and lock your bodies as intimately as possible without actually flashing people (still do.. and somehow get away with it) kind of scares me. This is lust, not love. You can say its love but then you’re confusing it for something else AND sugar coating it so that it can remain acceptable on the streets. Kids should see love, not lust. They should see affection, generosity, caring; not animalistic urges. Keep that to the bedroom, as you promised you would.
Photo: Spanish soccer player kisses girlfriend Soccer reporter in Spain, Google