When trying to crack the code almost cracks you, for instance…
Modelling – you literally have a job and get credit because, you look good. You pose in makeup, hair and clothing on a set and that’s it. It could be a job because you have to flex and relax your face like an athlete but for a hard working girl, it’s a weird job.
Break ups – you spent so much time, emotion, bonding, effort, family, stories, etc and suddenly you have to obliterate their existence from everything you have – with exception of your head. You question everything, spiral into dark emotions and worse case scenario… you are either super close with people who see everything and have to talk about it, or you say absolutely nothing, which is the worst. Your future visions of life together goes down the toilet and understanding of your self worth takes a hit. I call this one of the modern world’s diseases. This is why distractions and friends are a necessity.
Calling my stepfather, my stepdad – not actually blood but suddenly your family. Takes care of you in ways you have never known. So much confusion that if you stop for a moment and think about it, you know you will go crazy. This shit takes time to process and accept.
Having an argument in English while the swiss german side is oblivious at the family Christmas table – you’re this close to hollering at your relative to stop being controlling, a bitch and a drama queen, and no one else knows. The upside to having family of another language, it alone gives you privacy while you’re sitting 3 centimeters away from each other at the Christmas Lunch Raclette Table.
Having the best support online from understanding virtual strangers – while people who you grew up with at school etc, may come up to gossip, keep in touch or bitch about you. It makes you want to reprioritize your time and values because – some people accept you, hate you or act indifferent. Time means nothing for many good friendships.
World greediness – there is a whole shared economy out there from renting a room to sleep at someone’s house – to booking a car ride with another stranger and only paying some share of the petrol price, to sharing a couch and many more. My generation knows how to live on absolute budget while monkey baby boomers have 10 real estates giving passive income, taking space on this planet, and otherwise being greedy vultures not paying tax and sending money overseas. It is so weird to see how this behaviour is acceptable when economy runs on trust and my people can only hope to get their own place one day.
Translating German to English for Scottish tourists – Once I went on a train from Lugano to Zurich and realized the Zurich HB sign didn’t make sense for my newly found slightly drunk friends. I read aloud “Hauptbahnhof” checking the due time (late) and realized when one guy stared at me with trust and confusion in his eyes, that he didn’t get the German because he said “is that zurich?” I said, “Yep thats zurich main station”. The language literacy many many of us take for granted is a power a lot of others wished they had.
Dodging past Africans selling gadgets in Paris – When you stay with a Parisian, you become like a Parisian. The big dudes in casual wear trying to sell stuff on the street (which is by the way illegal) were just like other people to me by the time I was on my fourth day there. I found out the mentality of the Parisians regarding these guys and the whole story about them. But that didn’t prepare me for the giddiness of sweeping past a whole bunch of them (which looks intimidating to the unperceptive tourist) on Trocador, while a big crowd of tourists hesitated to move past.
A Spaniard pecking me on the lips and toying with my jeans on the dance floor and telling me I couldn’t say I didn’t like him – No matter how many guys I’ve known and got close to, I will never understand how some have such low self esteem or such lack of knowledge that they assume just because a girl gets close, doesn’t mean she cares or likes them. I am not part of the “keep score” crowd – or at least not any more. I have to care or like the guy in some way for any of the intimacy to begin. I practically feel sorry for the guys that have this mentality. When you live for people’s acceptance, you die for their rejection – amen.
Stay tuned for the next pouring of adventures 🙂
Photo: mine, on a mountain hike – during a lunch break. Bunch of super friendly butterflies deserved a photo shoot.
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