Could We Set Some Boundaries with Social Media?

“In the perfect world, emails are just notices,” paraphrasing Ivanka Trump circa pre trump as president.

In my view, we have this thing called the Pandoras Box but it is filled with social media material. And the ultimate point about it is not how the authorities can trample on citizens and use information from media for control, or how google and facebook ask for everything about you so that it can “customize” things for you and be easy to identify – it’s in the end, how much information is stolen in that moment. Leading to confusion, loads of research and discussion.

I am talking 5D interaction. Physical cues, which have been replaced by words, speed and emojis. Movement in clips and voice tones can help. But it is not the whole picture.

We. Are. Fragmented.

Case: you are looking for staff in your department. If you’re thorough, you will aim for a cv, recommendation, motivation letter, references and ultimately an interview. The interview is the big deal because it can make or break your entrance into the group. Are you going to find chemistry through skype? Potentially. Will it be through email? Possible. Will you know from the five minutes of talking if you fit? Guaranteed, if you know your questions. Interviews do not lie.

Case: you want to hang with someone you have cool conversation with. Maybe you met at work, online or drunk at a party. The chemistry and flow of conversation is going great. Then you meet and you realize the intentions behind that person and what their needs are. Maybe it will not meet yours, but how would you know until you establish trust and what you’re both seeking.

Case: texting a love interest some art. All you get back is “ooo send it!” and then “thats super cool, I never got this kind of thing before!” and several months later you find out, the guy was overwhelmed.

This is 2D communication, stealing moments that you could have lived through much better. Seen how his eyes had expanded, how his body got excited; how fast he read what you wrote, and seen what he did later. Because without those physical cues people can easily lie through words. I remember I felt angry and frustrated at the time that I didn’t know what exactly was screened away from me in the form of emojis, words and exclamation marks (!!!)

The biggest irony is that I find myself ambassador to the arts a lot; pointing out how sacred words are, and the shame that goes with people who abuse their forms of medias. And prompting more people to get out there and live, not be glued to the screens. I am also working on this. We are not “robots” as one guy told me (thank you dude!).

On Whatsapp my mother asks me if I got her voice clips about house things. I admitted to her, the first couple of 2 minute voice clips were ok but now I just have no patience for the silence and “ummms” when my time is precious. So why don’t we do phone calls? I think it’s because there’s a protocol involved with calling, and no one wants to bother with them. Quick convenience of sending messages is where it’s at.

For facebook I officially have two apps to “keep in touch”: chat and the actual platform. One is clearly public, the other is private.

For Instagram its pictures and hashtags, a quicker communication. And somehow I get some deep conversation and moral support with friends in the chat function. It is like a third party thing. Hobby? sharing hilarious memes.

For an app like Badoo, there are tonnes of tricks designed to make it look like you’re interested but in a chill way: checking out, favouritizing, swiping right, “OMG we’re a match!” chatting, visits and likes.

Like a certain smartass guy with the same sense of humour as me asked, “what’s the actual difference? I’m confused.” You got me, bro…. And let’s not get started on the weirdos who want to call straight off after saying hello. Stuff like this is what scares people away from joining in the first place!

And this music video makes me want to snort. The only way to get some horny, immature guys attention is to bring curves in lingerie to the screen, a helpless vixen look always welcome.

I doubt many girls would be applauding that image because not all of us dress up like that to get attention. Some of us don’t want it. Some of us work for what we want, totally independant of guys. But it also makes me think, perhaps this is why guys also ask for girls pictures the moment it gets romantic. They feel entitled to it. If a girl looks sexy for them without them doing anything, then that’s the deal right? Also, total lack of imagination.

Ultimately, lets face it guys, biggest problem in these times is the complete lack of standards. The people I know that got somewhere with their goals, made their boundaries clear. We have more confusion and questions than answers and clarity.

Since when are we logical creatures? Old philosophy dictates we are above animalistic urges, have a conscience and spirituality. This is getting harder to validate when we cannot, I repeat, cannot – manage our emotions or social medias. Those that can manage their media, have a framework. And a deep understanding of the purpose of media but also how humanity works. But you’re not going to find that type of intelligence everywhere. (if not middle east or east Europe) so my sources are not average.

Social media, emails, calls, messages, post boxes, skype, facetime – is it a good idea to replace physical interaction with the distraction of all these blinky, chirpy devices?

Bad example but still something that ticks at me: The Kardashians. The one couple that made sense to me, Kourtney and Scott, never could figure it out. You realize a lot of it is because of the very material made for TV: crazy insufferable family antics, deep issues which cannot be solved by superficial conversation and narcissism, and abusive behaviours which can cut you off from loads of people. And one other thing, in a priceless interview with Kourtney: “I don’t really have boundaries”, in which one Youtube commentary replied “that’s the real problem isn’t it?”

Picture: Instagram @menshumor

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