How is it that mature, wise (or wiser) men have taught me more about communication than women?
Women are typically about relationships and approaches.
Men are typically about going from a to b and handling tasks.
So why is it that my stepdad is one of the best communicators I know – my adopted uncle (post strawberry kisses) – my housemate and the love of my life who likes to drive me crazy (unlikely romances) to name a couple. Then there’s another man I hold in high regard – one that I coached and another who coaches businesses.
And I realized this. Experience lends to objectivity and understanding how much is ultimately in your control. Once you know what is in this control, what lies in your hands, you realize how much is in your responsibility to communicate effectively.
I’m talking life crisis, life problems, how to be gentle with women who have lost their way on the map while driving a car, communicating intentions in the heat of moments, communicating through upset and heartbreak.
It could be something to do with leadership and consciousness of how to keep the harmony. Communication isn’t even what you think it is and it gets complex if you think about the 5 love languages, body language and cultural customs (yergh). But the only keys that I learned that are mandatory are:
I accredit these points to my stepdad who was subtly wooing my mum between work, travels and after marrying her. I still take notes from him although it’s a beautiful cycle where I tell him when to calm down and when to accept things. He is the grounding element to mum’s chaotic life and potentially the smartest guy I know.
Knowing when and how to communicate respect and appreciation is probably the next step – manners really help and so do principles.
Biblically speaking men are supposed to lead, we all know this. And when they do this properly everything seems to fall into places. Even the most masculine, driven, empowered women and men fall in line. But because of this leadership and this responsibility and accountability for actions, some males learn how much is impacted by their words and gestures. Getting from a to b – but gently, is the name of the game.